Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
