Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
