Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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