How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
