I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
