fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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