her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Can I color on your dick again?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
