Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
