i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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