Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
