let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
