that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
there is puke in my bra ... again
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