WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
