Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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