I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
