I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
drinking out of a sandbucket again
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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