Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
