ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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