I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
