4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
