am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
