someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
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