It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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