All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
