I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
