i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Randomize
