This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
