Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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