She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
being pregnant is like rehab
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
