I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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