the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
