Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
