So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You made out with two different species that night
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
