no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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