are you still at the devil's house?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
