She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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