Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
