ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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