Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
