I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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