so explain again why im purple
no
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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