let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
