You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
send nudes
from the living room?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
