Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
