It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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