We're like a lot better than the average bears
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
