A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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