I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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