Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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