Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
