Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
