Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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