i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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